To do list

Be unselfish
Try to think of others daily. Consider what your actions, thoughts, wants, will do to your kids and wife.
Do for your wife and expect nothing. If you expect your wife to return a favor or compliment your actions, this is selfish. Do for your wife because you love her and she deserves it always. Communicate all financial decisions with your wife.
Be a Father
Meet all needs of your children. Play with your kids. Discipline your kids. Make sure the children respect their mother. Take the kids to new places. Provide for the needs.
Be a husband
Be the man she needs you to be. Listen and don't try to fix everything. Compliment her in a way that shows you mean it. Sacrifice for her needs. Take her places. Leave your comfort zone. Take care of your body and dress nice. Uncover her goals and help her achieve them. Give her space. Trust her and let her go.
Home
Make your home a home with less stress daily. Clean and unclutter. Finish each project one at a time and move quickly to the next. Work hard every day to make your home a little nicer for your family.

Please don't forget

As a man I know I can improve so much as a father and a husband. I know how mean, disrespectful, and selfish I can be. Over the last few weeks I have seen who I am and who I want to be. I worry now that I will slip. I must keep focus and make new ways habit. Some people think people don't change. I don't like this. I think if you practice something enough it becomes habit and then normal. I must remember how selfish I can be. I must understand to be patient with my wife and kids. I must give my wife space, perfect trust, and love that fits her needs. I must take care of my household, be a leader for my family, and every now and then put my foot down when needed. I must communicate with my wife, listen carefully, and not try to fix her problems. I must be mysterious, fun, and not afraid to break out of my comfort zones. I must keep my short term and long term goals in mind daily. I must lead our family in our finances and share these decisions with my wife. Most of all we must celebrate our successes and remember our blessings.

Self Esteem

Self esteem comes from within. If you have low self esteem relationships can be a tricky thing. You may think you bring nothing to the relationship or are a poor spouse, father, or mother.
For my wife early on in our marriage I destroyed her self esteem. By looking at other woman online in pornography it made my wife feel inadequate. Man that was the dumbest mistake ever. I love my wife very
much. My wife is very beautiful. Her hair is wonderful long or short. She looks amazing with highlights in her hair. Her eyes see right through me. Her body drives me crazy and I love to watch her get ready to go somewhere. I love watching her try on new clothes for me. She takes my breath away. She has amazing legs and her smile is so sweet. I know these things in my heart, but cannot get her to believe me because of the beauty of other woman. Other woman wear caked on make up, my wife needs very little. Other woman may pretty, but they are not my wife. I just want her in my life. I want to experience new things with her. I want to break out of my comfort zone and do something amazing with her. I want to go after our goals with gazelle intensity. I want to raise our kids together. I want to make her dreams come true. I want to move to a more cultured city. Most of all I want her to want me back so I could do these things with her. I want her to know I'm sorry and know I love her and know she is so amazing and beautiful.

I understand now

The wife and I have decided to mutually separate. It is incredibly difficult, but part of it. She will move out and go try to find herself. I will learn not to need her and be a best friend, father and a new man. I think their is still a little hope for us and I think she still loves me down deep. She just is miserable around me. I smother her with kindness. So I'm so happy we understand each other. I'm so sad for the kids. I'm going to love her and be her friend. I will be respectful of her decision and praise her in front of our children.
Maybe one day she will find herself and happiness. Maybe I can be strong without her. Maybe then we can meet again and start over. Only time will tell.

I tried.

In the end you can love someone all you want. If they don't love you their is not a damn thing you can do. We agreed to seperate and be friends. I can't believe it. For her to be happy I must let her go. I think its the hardest thing I've ever had to consider. But I know in my heart its the right thing. I hate it for the kids most of all. Its going to break their hearts. It killsme think about that empty house with no wife and no kids. For all you other husbands out there. Don't wait. If you do your wife will be gone before you know it.

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No longer the first thought.

Today my wife was getting her hair done. I met her with the kids. I could tell she did not want me there. Or maybe Im reading in to it to much. When the stylish came over she introduced our daughter. Then son. Then she said are we ready and walked off. For the first time ever she didn't introduce me. I felt more a lone than ever. Maybe it was just a once over. Maybe she just forgot. On the otherhand I wonder if she thought about it and didn't want her to know were married. Maybe she is embarrassed of me. Or maybe I think too much. Good thing I can say these things on here. She knows about the blog, but I bet she never reads it. You have to care first, right.

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Empty

All I want is a simple I missed you. Thanks for trying so hard. Hey I'm having a time with this, and need my space, but I want you too know I'm thinking about you and will get with you after work, stress, kids, life, is all sorted a bit. Sure it's only been a week. I've got a long ways to go. If I got a text today that said something like hey was thinking about you, later. OMG. That's all I need. Or when you get home say hi and kiss me on the cheek and say your my guy. Wow Id do anything to here her claim me as hers. I know I'm the asshole here, and well I deserve all this pain, but damn its getting heavy.

I guess real men are not sensitive to these issues. Man, women got us on shells. They want us to be manly and take charge. Then loving, oops to loving now your needy. lol If I clean up the house or fix that or help with kids. Now I'm out doing her, or I'm only doing it cause I'm in trouble or want sex. News flash I'm not some raging horny 18 year old anymore. Sure I love sex, but It's not on my mind all the time. Maybe I just want to freaking help out cause you work two jobs and have a lot on your plate. If you want to make it up to me, then just grab me, kiss me like I like to be kissed and say your my man. Thanks for the help. I'm not gonna jump your bones so calm down. Hell even I can learn new tricks.

Please women learn how to communicate with your husband. It doesn't take a lot to show you care.